4 Saturdays

Before Connor and Parker were even a thought in my head or two twinkles in my eye tax season sucked.  Last year being in my first trimester of pregnancy and dealing with 24 hour a day nausea and crazy exhaustion tax season sucked even more. Now that I have my miracle boys tax season sucks more than I ever thought possible. 

I currently have 4 more Saturdays to go and then I'll get my weekends and Thursdays back.  There was a time when the thought of only 4 more got me through. It didn't seem so bad, I could do this. Now 4 is like an eternity. Do you know how fast my boys are growing? Every day they are discovering new things and learning new stuff. Just the other day Connor reached out for me for the first time when I went to pick him up - well not the first time, he did it on my birthday a month ago but I'm pretty sure that was a fluke although I choose to believe it was his birthday present to his mama. Parker is trying so hard to sit up and I swear he says hi. (Obviously not having a clue what he's saying, I'm not that delusional, but none the less it sounds like hi and I'm not the only one who hears it.) My point...they are becoming new little people every day and in 4 Saturdays they will be completely different little boys than they are today.

I don't want to miss out on all of this and though I still leave work at 3:30 and bring work home to do after they've gone to bed so I have time in the late afternoon/evening with them, I know I'm still missing out. It kills me. I need my Thursdays and Saturdays with them.  Sundays aren't enough but it's all I get for 4 more Saturdays.

I will cherish the time I get with them until 4 Saturdays have passed (and always) but I will want more. For now though we'll just continue to sing our songs, go on walks, talk, cuddle, read stories and play in the evenings and on my one day a week that I'm not at work while I hope with all the hope I have that they save their firsts for when I'm with them.

I've been there for every first smile, giggle, assisted stand, roll from front to back and back to front, taste of cereal, peas, squash, apples, peaches, etc, purposeful grab at a toy, mama being uttered, bubbles blown, spit spat out like a 10 year old boy and many more and that's what gets me through this work crap.  Knowing that I've been there for those firsts despite having to also work.

Please let these next 4 Saturdays go quick but not so quick that I miss out on my boys' lives.

First time on the big boy swing...

Connor was checking out 3 year old boy/girl twins...

Both boys checking out the other twins...

My serious boy...

Who also smiles quite often...

And my flirty boy...

Who is quite the little cheese ball...